H.P. Lovecraft

"The Outsider"

Unhappy is he to whom the memories of childhood bring only fear and sadness.

I really don't have many fond memories or growing up. Lots and lots of fighting, abuse, manipulation and backstabbing by those who called themselves 'friends' and 'family'. The ones I hated more than those who left physical scars are the ones who just watched everything happen as i stared at them with tears running down my face. The pity they gave me are the ones that scars me deeper than the ones eyes can see.

Those i am eternally grateful for are the animals that kept me company threw all those years

... my little sister for having the best pick me up speeches regardless of how old she is

... my little brother for sticking up for me against his own mother; thinking about it still brings a tear to my eye

H.P. Lovecraft

In a letter to an unknown correspondent, December 22-23 1925

Ineffective & injudicious I may be, but I trust I may never be inartistic or ill-bred in my course of conduct."

I take what people say to with a grain of salt, if even that. I don't have much faith in man-kind or humanity as a whole. I have had my trust treated as something that is scraped off the bottom of your shoe; so those I given my trust into i have high respect for

With trying to forget all the bad things that have happened to me threw the years, I've made it hard to remember much of anything BUT I refuse to believe something someone says just because THEY say it's true. I was given a brain to think for myself. Granted it may malfunction quite often and I may not know much of anything, but i don't need people to think for me.

H.P. Lovecraft

"The Temple"

But he was unmoved, and cried: "If I am mad, it is mercy! May the gods pity the man who in his callousness can remain sane to the hideous end!"

With everything that has happened over the years, I am surprised that i was able to hold on to what sanity I had to begin with.

Being rejected by both ends of the social spectrum tends to make you ask why you exist in the first place.

So pierced myself with safety pins when I got bored enough, picked a pencil and put the visuals in my head on paper, and dressed in what I liked.

Cause really who gave a damn about me until i started to make a name for myself, started to think for myself, and became the thing that people who didn't like me wished they could be.